August 2, 2010
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RE: not getting married
<> This is a reply to suggestivetongue’s post <>
Marriage is first and foremost about oneness. You get tied to one another, emotionally, physically, financially, etc. You make a commitment that you make to no other. You submit your desires for your spouse’s needs. You get intimate. You work things out in such a way that your life is fully integrated, and codependent. Committed to one another.
Marriage recognizes that for a relationship, commitment is more important than romance, more important than sex, more important than money, more important than convenience, more important than escape-routes, more important than self-actualization, and more important than self-reliance.
If you value independence, no-strings-attached policies, individualist goals, and sexual gratification more than commitment to someone, then marriage is not for you. And, more importantly, marriage makes little sense to you.
“A good relationship” should not look the same as “a good marriage.” That is, if the only difference (previously stated) is the wedding and binding agreement. Why? Because it is imbalanced. There is not enough commitment.
Consider the famous Triangle of Love
Any relationship that does not have the binding vow of matrimony is lacking a necessary component of the healthiest relationship: commitment. There may be a lot of commitment, but if you’re having sex then you need to back it up with a commitment.To quote Nietzsche (albeit out of context): “A girl who surrenders her virginity to a man who has not first sworn solemnly before witnesses that he will not leave her again for the rest of her life not only is considered imprudent but is also called immoral.”
This has so many practical applications I wish I didn’t have a headache, so I could rattle them off.
Think about it.
Just think about it.
