June 4, 2011
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Married in Heaven
Written on a tombstone in a cemetery, are the following words:
“Unclasped on earth
to clasp in heaven”The spouse was left alone while the other had died, presumably en route to heaven.
The imagery we are given is that they were together, to have and to hold from this day forth. Yet they are separated by death. They will be reunited in heaven, to have and to hold forever.
Many have this view. Yet is it consistent with what God has revealed about heaven? Is it true we can look forward to being married forever? In short, yes in one sense, and no in another. Before you get frustrated with that answer let’s look at what Jesus has told us about marriage:
Luke 20:34-6
“Jesus replied, ‘The people of this age marry and are given in marriage. But those who are considered worthy of taking part in the age to come and in the resurrection from the dead will neither marry nor be given in marriage, and they can no longer die; for they are like the angels. They are God’s children, since they are children of the resurrection.’”What Jesus is saying here is that marriage is not for the next age, but only for this age. If we are resurrected, there is no marriage for us to take part in. Thus, there is a sense in which we are not married in heaven. There is a sense in which the ring comes off. The marriage license is left behind. The house, the family, the last name, the sex, the exclusivity, the romance, and the marital counseling all cease. All the nagging and worry too.
My girlfriend really wants to get married. But after reflecting on this idea that it doesn’t transfer into heaven, a new question was raised, “Then why get married?”
Marriage is given to us for a host of reasons, but it is also a sacrament or ordinance given by God. For one, to start a family — the most fundamental, essential part of a functioning community or society. You participate in the creative work of reproducing image-bearers of God (Genesis 1:28; 5:1-2). For another, to abstain from fornication (1 Corinthians 7:2-9). Sex is powerful, one of the most powerful activities in human history we can engage in. Fornication is a corruption of sex’s intended purpose: a joyful covenant renewal/remembrance ceremony. I don’t want to get into this one too much.
There are probably many more reasons God instituted marriage, but the third reason is that it is a foreshadowing (type) of what is to come (antitype). It is a metaphor to our relationship with Christ. St. Paul of Tarsus says that marriage was a great secret now revealed to mean Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:28-32). We are Christ’s bride. He is our Groom. He has given us a covenant we accept by the hand. He says “this is My body” and we give Him ours. He offered Himself sacrificially, and so we offer ourselves as a living sacrifice, for this is our spiritual act of worship. Just as a man and a woman are united as one flesh, so also are we united with Christ and are His body. Just as in a two-word sentence “I do” we are given rights to an inheritance we did not work for, so also “I believe” gives us rights to an inheritance we did not work for. He is our covenant head. He will never leave us nor forsake us, showing us love even though we are unfaithful and idolatrous. For that is what idolatry is: adultery against God.
Thus there is another sense in which we are married in heaven. We are God’s at the marriage supper of the Lamb (Revelation 19:7-10). The sacraments God ordains point to our union with Him, including marriage. We know of our union with God in part by being united by covenant with Christ. But it will be fully realized in the age to come. This is what makes Heaven what it is. It is not the people, though that is part of it. It is not the pleasure, though that is part of it. It is not the escape of our troubles or people we don’t like, though being removed from the curse of sin and death and pain is certainly part of it. What makes it Heaven is that we are at home with God. United forever, no death will us part.
We are caught in the tension of being already, but not yet. We will come home to Him soon. Which is why Jesus says He is going to prepare a place for us (John 14:2-3) — referencing the common custom of a betrothed Jewish man who prepares a place for him and his wife.
Why bother getting married, then? Among many other things, so that we can point to the wonder of Christ’s relationship with His people. Plus, unity, community, family, sex, romance, etc. are all pretty good stuff from what I hear. God gives us these things for a time, and if we are enabled to enjoy them then let us participate and give thanks to God.
[thanks to Gina Boscarino for the image from her bike ride]
