May 29, 2010

• Different

  Too much of my life I have striven to be different. I am tired of it. Being unique and individualistic to the point of being interesting doesn’t get you a stronger connection to anything but yourself. You embrace the things that make you unlike everyone else and cherish it for that reason. That is lonely self-worship. The only people you will have a relationship with will be those who tolerate that kind of behavior, love the same things as you, or can love you too instead of just themselves.

  Remember all the friends you grew up with because you shared the same interests? Then when they changed interests, what connection did you have with them? Was it not weakened and distant? It was, rather obviously, a childish trait. Though later in life you would have learned that you can love and enjoy someone who is different without being different yourself. But some misunderstand on what basis you love and enjoy someone who is different. Is it because they are being unique and different, “who they are, deep down”? That is the integration of self-worship made more explicit, retained from childhood and saturating the adult worldview. On what basis one ought to have loved someone different is because they are human beings, made in the image of God.

  Do you ever find it funny how people think getting tattoos of Chinese words has become cliché? What they mean is that it has become too common to be used as an individualistic image.

  Do you ever find it funny how we would like to be alone, but later in life recognize it as a huge misfortune to be left alone?

  I love anonymity and I love being noticed
  Just the same as anybody else
  Years ago I told you how I loved to be alone
  These days I’d be perjuring myself

  Do you ever find it disconcerting how some people abound in learning and argue for a new philosophy, only to bring themselves into the realm of absurdity and loneliness, and worst of all, out of the communion of the Church?

  I am tired of striving to be different for its own sake. If I am to be different, it is because I cannot accept being irresponsible, lazy, apathetic, tasteless, shameless, stupid or heterodox. But that’s not different for its own sake, that’s different because to be the same would be a shame.

  • 9:29 am
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